New England Patriots

The New England Patriots are clearly the best team in the NFL at the moment after one week of the 2015 NFL season. The worst? It’s hard to choose from such a wide variety of awfulness. The Washington Redskins, Oakland Raiders, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Cleveland Browns and Jacksonville Jaguars, familiar names in this category, keep on battling for the bottom spot, as if last season is still going on.

1. New England Patriots (1-0): People keep talking about X-Gate, while Tom Brady plays angry and Rob Gronkowski is the perfect target to make the aging quarterback look great.

2. Dallas Cowboys (1-0): They’ll have to do with Dez Bryant for a while, but Tony Romo is great at making the most of his tight ends and running backs, going 22-of-23 when targeting running backs and tight ends in the win over the Giants.

3. Green Bay Packers (1-0): The Packers always do well against the Bears. Especially Aaron Rodgers, as 3 of his 4 highest Total QBR games over the last 2 seasons have come against the Bears.

4. Arizona Cardinals (1-0): The defense doesn’t show the expected drop off and if Carson Palmer avoids being the turnover machine he tends to be, this might be the best team in the NFC West.

5. Seattle Seahawks (1-0): Pete Carroll probably still has nightmares about that Super Bowl call. So he messed up by doing the opposite thing against the Rams in overtime.

6. Kansas City Chiefs (1-0): Alex Smith throwing three touchdowns in one half? The Chiefs scoring 27 points in one half? Something good is happening, and it came against a good defensive team.

7. Cincinnati Bengals (1-0): There’s nothing bad about starting the season against the Raiders. A strong, dual threat running game and Andy Dalton looking good. There will be tougher tests in the future.

8. Denver Broncos (1-0): Peyton Manning will surely look better than on the opener (he has to, right?) but the Broncos are going to win a lot of games based on their defense.

9. Miami Dolphins (1-0): The most impressive thing from their win over the Redskins in Washington was the away fan turnout. 

10. Atlanta Falcons (1-0): Julio Jones finished with 141 yards and two touchdowns, showing the big contract he got wasn’t for nothing.

11. San Francisco 49ers (1-0): Run the ball, and then run the ball some more. The 49ers got 168 yards and two touchdowns out of Carlos Hyde in the season opener, and the defense, with a revamped NaVorro Bowman, might not be as bad as advertised.

12. Buffalo Bills (1-0): The quarterback situation is weird by Tyrod Taylor can make big plays happen. And the defense is scary.

13. Pittsburgh Steelers (0-1): There isn’t a more difficult place to play in on opening night than Gillette Stadium, but this defense won’t get them very far against anyone.

14. San Diego Chargers (1-0): The Philip Rivers – Keenan Allen connection is going to be scary this season.

15. Philadelphia Eagles (0-1): A lot of bad things happened for Philly on opening night. The worst? DeMarco Murray rushing for 9 yards Monday, tied for 4th fewest by a defending rushing champ in the season opener in NFL History.

16. St. Louis Rams (1-0): The Rams have been upgraded at quarterback and their defense should help carry them in a lot of games. Playoffs? Too soon, but they’re a legitimate part of the NFC West race.

17. Carolina Panthers (1-0): Ugly wins over the Jaguars don’t usually say much about how good the team really is.

18. Indianapolis Colts (0-1): All this talk about helping Andrew Luck out with more, better receivers, and he goes and completed just 26.7% of his attempts thrown more than 10 yards downfield, including both of his interceptions.

19. New York Jets (1-0): Beating up on the Cleveland Browns isn’t too big of a deal, but the Jets defense should be good this season, and Ryan Fitzpatrick is probably a better option than Geno Smith.

20. Baltimore Ravens (0-1): Joe Flacco looked bad because he didn’t have protection, pressured on 17 of his 34 dropbacks, tied for the 2nd-highest pressure percentage of his career

21. New Orleans Saints (0-1): If the defense isn’t going to be helping Drew Brees out anytime soon, the NFC South will leave the Saints behind once again.

22. Detroit Lions (0-1): Another epic collapse keeps us doubting the Lions. Stafford was just 3-of-7 on third down, throwing two interceptions.

23. Chicago Bears (0-1): You can always count on Jay Cutler to look good before throwing an interception at the worst possible time to kill his own team.

24. New York Giants (0-1): The one-point loss to the Cowboys wasn’t as close as it seemed, and without a better defense, the return of Victor Cruz won’t matter much.

25. Houston Texans (0-1): The quarterback situation is even messier than initially presumed.

26. Tennessee Titans (1-0): The Titans faced probably the weakest team in the NFL, but can’t not be pleased with Marcus Mariota, throwing four touchdown passes on his debut.

27. Minnesota Vikings (0-1): Only three points, nothing from Teddy Bridgewater and a less than lukewarm return for Adrian Peterson. It couldn’t have been worse.

28. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-1): The only way the Jaguars look better than they did last season is their move up the power rankings.

29. Cleveland Browns (0-1): Johnny Manziel, Josh McCown, it doesn’t matter. This team is in trouble.

30. Washington Redskins (0-1): Kirk Cousins threw 2 interceptions Sunday, both of which came on third down with the Redskins needing 13 or more yards. Cousins now has 1 Pass TD and 5 interceptions on 3rd down since the start of last season.

31. Oakland Raiders (0-1): Some thing never change, regardless of who the quarterback is.

32. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-1): Jameis Winston needs to press delete on the game tape, while the Bucs start fearing they made the wrong choice.

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